The young seminarian's shorts
(satin, green, and oh so short) are extremely eighties. He wears them when he
runs, which is daily, for eight to ten miles. He believes this will help him
keep chaste. He's even wearing those shorts when he visits the church pastored
by Father Tim Farley, who has the reputation of being the best priest in the
diocese (if so, poor diocese -- in spite of the diocese being very rich).
The seminarian, Mark Dolson (played
by Law and Order DA Zeljko Ivanek), and the priest (played by the great Jack
Lemmon) are the central characters in this film that examines "Current
Catholic Crises" (the name of one of Farley's sermon series). Bill Davis
wrote the screenplay based on his play (also called "Mass Appeal"),
and in the play these were the only two characters. The film opens things up, letting us see
the church's congregants and the monsignor (Charles Durning), who acts as the
villain.
As always, it's the church we are reviewing,
not the film, and we get an interesting glimpse of St. Francis Church during
Mark Dolson's first visit. Father Farley is finishing up his "Three
C's" series with what we learn is "one of his famous dialogue sermons."
He says they will be discussing that morning the topic of whether the Roman
Catholic Church should ordain women as priests. He asks the congregation to ask
questions on the subject. It soon becomes apparent that the reason the priest
does such sermons is because they require little preparation. Mark notes that
it was women who were faithful to Jesus at His Death through His Resurrection.
When Mark asks him substantive questions on the issue, Farley becomes quite
irate. He is especially angered when Mark asks for his opinion on the subject.
Father Tim doesn't want to do anything as risky as giving an opinion.
Farley goes back to his study to
drink wine (one of his favorite occupations) and decide what series of sermons
he should begin next week. (Doesn't the church use a Scriptural Lectionary that
he could use to plan his sermons?) But then he gets a call from the monsignor
about some problems at the seminary (Mark Dolson is one of the problems) which
leads Farley to the awesome idea of a sermon series, "The Road to the
Priesthood." Why would the average parishioner be interested in that
topic?
So, Father Farley is an awful
preacher who doesn't look to Scripture for his sermon but relies on lame jokes,
but maybe Mark Dolson will prove to be a better preacher? He's a little better,
but not much. He wants to preach about the evils of materialism. He condemns
those who come to church with "your mink hats and your cashmere coats and
blue hair." Farley tells Mark when talking about sin, he should use
"we" not "you." This is actually sound advice, but Mark
doesn't take it, preferring his own more priggish style of preaching. Also,
choosing those three things to condemn makes him sound more than a little
misogynistic.
Mark also doesn't seem to feel the
need to preach about the Bible. He preaches a sermon about how his family went
for jelly donuts after Mass (Farley likes this idea), and another sermon about
the death of his tropical fish when he was a child. Both men are useless in the
pulpit.
Perhaps though, they are better in
other aspects of ministry? Say, in counseling? Well, Father Farley is often
seen trying to dodge counseling appointments with "white lies." (Mark
constantly confronts the Father about his habit of lying.) He can't avoid
seeing a woman whose mother has just passed away. He goes with Mark to see her.
As the woman pours out her grief, Farley assures her, "It's all for the
best."
Mark later asks why Farley doesn't
just listen to people in grief. Farley says it's the job of a priest to spout
inanities to those in pain so they will reach a state of "inconsolable
grief" that he feels is blessed in some way. He says that if he was
counseling a mother who just lost an infant, he's say, "You're young, you
can have others" or "Heaven must have wanted another blessing."
In other words, he sets out to say the very things that will cause many people
to hate the church and leave it.
One interesting thing about the
church in the film is the eighties take on controversial issues. It's
interesting how the arguments have changed. Mark is bisexual and takes the
stand that the church should ordain homosexuals and bisexuals as long as they
will remain chaste in ministry. The argument has moved on since then. The
question now is whether priests need to remain chaste.
As horrible as the ministry of
Father Farley is, Mark takes time to care for the poor, visit prisoners and
play basketball with the youth. He singlehandedly saves the church in the film
from the lowest rating of one steeple and earns it two.
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