1980 Was a Good Year for Comedies...and you can quote me on that

Airplane! and Caddyshack (1980)

For a certain demographic of guys who like to quote movies, 1980 was a golden year. It was the year two classic comedies, Caddyshack and Airplane!, were released.

“Surely you can’t be serious.” 

“I am serious...and don’t call me Shirley.”

“Cinderella story! Outta nowhere! A former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion! It looks like a miracle… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”

“Whoa, did someone step on a duck?”

“Alright, give me Hamm on five, hold the Mayo.”

“Thank you very little.”

Some guys that won’t stop quoting these films, to the distress of most around them. (I hereby apologize to those around me.) Both films also are packed with sight gags and jokes that offended a wide spectrum of folks when the movies were first released (and they can offend even more now). 

Neither movie is very sensitive about religious sensitivities -- which is why both find a place here at Movie Churches. Though neither film has a church, both have clergy.

Airplane! has a nun, Sister Angelina (Maureen McGovern). We see her sitting on the plane, calmly reading Boy’s Life magazine. A few rows away, we see a young boy reading Nun’s Life. The nun has brought along a guitar (don’t know how it fit the carryon size limitations). One of the stewardesses (they weren't called flight attendants in 1980) borrows the nun's guitar to sing a song for a sick girl on the plane, to the delight of everyone except the sick girl.

Since Airplane! is a spoof of disaster films, trouble is sure to come. The film’s creators, Jerry Zucker, David Zucker, and Jim Abrahams, mostly stole the plot from a 1957 film called Zero Hour! In that film, the crew of an airliner gets food poisoning from bad fish in the dinner service. A stewardess must fly the plane, and is later aided by a grief-stricken passenger, a former pilot. The two films even use almost the same name for the former pilot; Ted Stryker (Dana Andrews) of Zero Hour! became Ted Strider (Robert Hayes) in Airplane!.

As the passengers in Airplane! panic when they realize their danger, the nun tries to bring comfort in some unorthodox ways. When one woman gets hysterical, a doctor (Leslie Neilson) tries to calm her, and then slaps her to shock her out of her hysteria. The nun takes over when the doctor is called to another passenger, and she shakes and slaps the woman. A line forms to take over for the nun, and the group carries increasingly lethal weaponry.

The film has other religious figures. A saint statue in the dashboard of the jetliner raises an umbrella during the storm. At the airport, hordes of religious solicitors (no longer allowed by security in this post 9/11 world) hand out flowers. Groups represented include the Church of Religious Consciousness, Hare Krishnas, Moonies, Scientologists, Buddhists, among many others, including Jews for Jesus --  one of the few theologically sound groups represented (in my opinion). In a very funny scene, these religious representatives are slugged one after another by Captain Rex Kramer (Robert Stack) as he tries to make his way through the airport to the airport tower.

Caddyshack has only one member of the clergy, and he's quite a sad figure. “The Bishop” Pickering (Henry Wilcoxon) is from an unspecified denomination, but it's probably Episcopal. We first see him in the locker room of the golf club. A judge (Ted Knight) asks him, “Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the colored boy that went to heaven?” 

The Bishop laughs, “Ya, that’s a doozie, Judge”. I just hope it’s not a joke he used as a sermon illustration.

Bishop Pickering talks about getting his greatest satisfaction working with young men at the “Youtheran Center.” When a young caddy, Danny (Michael O’Keefe), says he’d like to visit the place, he also mentions he’s thought of becoming a priest. The Bishop lets Danny know Catholics are not welcome.

The Bishop has his big moment in the film when a storm approaches. He asks the assistant groundskeeper, Carl (Bill Murray), to take him out to “try to squeeze in nine holes before the rain starts.” As rain pours down, lightning and thunder build, and the music from The Ten Commandments swells. The Bishop is playing his personal best game of golf, and Carl encourages him, “Good shot, Bishop, you must have made a deal with the devil.”

The Bishop doesn’t want to stop playing. “I could break the club record! I’m infallible!” Carl suggests, with the lightning and all, that perhaps they should to a break. The Bishop refuses. “The Good Lord would never disrupt the best game of my life!” But the round doesn’t end well. After missing a last, crucial putt, the Bishop is struck by lightning.

We next see the Bishop at the clubhouse, drinking with the judge and friends. “Another drink, Bishop?”

The Bishop answers, “Never ask a Navy man if he’ll have another drink because it’s nobody’s G** D*** business!”

The Judge tells him, “Wrong! You’re drinking too much Your Excellency!”

The Bishop answers, “Excellency? Fiddlesticks. My name’s Fred. I’m just a man, same as you, Judge.”

The Judge responds, “You’re a bishop, for God’s sake!”

Not long after that the Bishop says, “There is no God!”

But somehow, the drunk, doubting Bishop seems a little more Godly than the man we saw earlier laughing at cruel jokes and enjoying the trappings of power and privilege.

There is certainly something to be said for fearlessness in comedy, and both these films mock people in positions of authority -- even religious authority -- and I think that’s a good thing. But sadly, that means the clergy in both films earn a lowly rating of Two Steeples.

Mass Appeal (1984)

The young seminarian's shorts (satin, green, and oh so short) are extremely eighties. He wears them when he runs, which is daily, for eight to ten miles. He believes this will help him keep chaste. He's even wearing those shorts when he visits the church pastored by Father Tim Farley, who has the reputation of being the best priest in the diocese (if so, poor diocese -- in spite of the diocese being very rich).

The seminarian, Mark Dolson (played by Law and Order DA Zeljko Ivanek), and the priest (played by the great Jack Lemmon) are the central characters in this film that examines "Current Catholic Crises" (the name of one of Farley's sermon series). Bill Davis wrote the screenplay based on his play (also called "Mass Appeal"), and in the play these were the only two characters.  The film opens things up, letting us see the church's congregants and the monsignor (Charles Durning), who acts as the villain.

 As always, it's the church we are reviewing, not the film, and we get an interesting glimpse of St. Francis Church during Mark Dolson's first visit. Father Farley is finishing up his "Three C's" series with what we learn is "one of his famous dialogue sermons." He says they will be discussing that morning the topic of whether the Roman Catholic Church should ordain women as priests. He asks the congregation to ask questions on the subject. It soon becomes apparent that the reason the priest does such sermons is because they require little preparation. Mark notes that it was women who were faithful to Jesus at His Death through His Resurrection. When Mark asks him substantive questions on the issue, Farley becomes quite irate. He is especially angered when Mark asks for his opinion on the subject. Father Tim doesn't want to do anything as risky as giving an opinion.

Farley goes back to his study to drink wine (one of his favorite occupations) and decide what series of sermons he should begin next week. (Doesn't the church use a Scriptural Lectionary that he could use to plan his sermons?) But then he gets a call from the monsignor about some problems at the seminary (Mark Dolson is one of the problems) which leads Farley to the awesome idea of a sermon series, "The Road to the Priesthood." Why would the average parishioner be interested in that topic?

So, Father Farley is an awful preacher who doesn't look to Scripture for his sermon but relies on lame jokes, but maybe Mark Dolson will prove to be a better preacher? He's a little better, but not much. He wants to preach about the evils of materialism. He condemns those who come to church with "your mink hats and your cashmere coats and blue hair." Farley tells Mark when talking about sin, he should use "we" not "you." This is actually sound advice, but Mark doesn't take it, preferring his own more priggish style of preaching. Also, choosing those three things to condemn makes him sound more than a little misogynistic.

Mark also doesn't seem to feel the need to preach about the Bible. He preaches a sermon about how his family went for jelly donuts after Mass (Farley likes this idea), and another sermon about the death of his tropical fish when he was a child. Both men are useless in the pulpit.

Perhaps though, they are better in other aspects of ministry? Say, in counseling? Well, Father Farley is often seen trying to dodge counseling appointments with "white lies." (Mark constantly confronts the Father about his habit of lying.) He can't avoid seeing a woman whose mother has just passed away. He goes with Mark to see her. As the woman pours out her grief, Farley assures her, "It's all for the best."

Mark later asks why Farley doesn't just listen to people in grief. Farley says it's the job of a priest to spout inanities to those in pain so they will reach a state of "inconsolable grief" that he feels is blessed in some way. He says that if he was counseling a mother who just lost an infant, he's say, "You're young, you can have others" or "Heaven must have wanted another blessing." In other words, he sets out to say the very things that will cause many people to hate the church and leave it.

One interesting thing about the church in the film is the eighties take on controversial issues. It's interesting how the arguments have changed. Mark is bisexual and takes the stand that the church should ordain homosexuals and bisexuals as long as they will remain chaste in ministry. The argument has moved on since then. The question now is whether priests need to remain chaste.

As horrible as the ministry of Father Farley is, Mark takes time to care for the poor, visit prisoners and play basketball with the youth. He singlehandedly saves the church in the film from the lowest rating of one steeple and earns it two.

Footloose (1984)

I should admit this up front; I've had a real grudge against this film.

The first time I went to see it was back in seminary at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

A college girl I had a bit of a crush on loved this film. She thought it had profound things to say about Trinity College's dancing ban. I asked her to go with me to see it, and she agreed to meet me at the theater. But she didn't come. I was stood up.

It was years before I tried to watch the film again, this time on DVD. I only made it a few minutes. The opening credits were pretty fun; a montage of dancing feet accompanied by the theme song by the great Kenny Loggins (with music in this, "Caddyshack," "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," "Rocky IV," "Top Gun" -- Loggins IS the Eighties.)

But then I got to the film proper with John Lithgow as the Reverend Shaw Moore preaching, and I didn't last much longer. The Rev. ranted about "Our Lord testing us" and why God allows the plague of big cities.

Then he turns to the evils of that "obscene rock and roll music and its gospel of easy sexuality." He again asks why God is testing us with this horrible thing when He could easily wipe all this evil from the earth. The Reverend argues that this testing is allowed by God to make us stronger for Him. At no time does he use Scripture to back up his assertions. The Reverend also does not seem concerned about the people in big cities or the makers or fans of rock music. He doesn't seem to consider that God may love these people and that is why He continues to show them grace (II Peter 3:9).

That's when I turned off the film the last time I tried to watch it.

But for the sake of this blog, I set out to watch the whole film. And, of course, I did so not to write about the film but rather about the church in this film.

The sermon I had already seen would probably lead me to choose not to attend this church. It reminded me too much of the days of my youth, attending Bill Gaither's Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar where he spoke of the evils of rock music. It didn't seem true to God's word to me then, and it doesn't now. Certainly, there are rock songs that have lyrics contrary to God's Word. But the argument against the musical genre itself is pathetically weak.

The next sermon Rev. Moore gives is about the glories of small town life. The director of the film,  Hebert Ross, presents this sermon as a montage, as taking place from the pulpit and in conversations with parishioners. He says he doesn't miss the hustle and bustle of the big city, but prefers small towns where everyone is part of a big family. He says he feels safe with his people in the small town. He, of course, doesn't use any Scripture to support his points, because the God of Scripture loves the City. In the book of Revelation part of the New Heaven and New Earth is the New Jerusalem. So obviously, unlike the Rev. Moore, God is okay with the city.

In the final sermon of the film, the Rev. Moore has finally seen the light and allows his daughter and the kids of the church (and, one assumes, the town) to go the dance that Kevin Bacon is staging. He gives the analogy of a new parent that must learn when to let go as well as when to hold on. Again, he uses no Scripture in his sermon.

Which is perhaps why Rev. Moore is won over a bit by Kevin "6 degrees of" Bacon quoting Psalm 149 about dancing and the book of Samuel (he never says whether it is First or Second Samuel) about dancing before the ark, because the young man dancer incorporates Scripture in his city council speeches better than the pastor does in his sermons.

This inability of the pastor to use the Bible is one of the reasons the nameless Movie Church of the town of Bomont in the '80s version of "Footloose" earns only one measly steeple.